One reason I felt I would have difficulty working in elementary is seeing the same students all day, every day. The years I was a traditional classroom high school teacher I valued the variety of classes and students.

Now I find myself working in a small school where we encounter each other daily in our small building.

Today was my first ride of the year. I’m a fair weather horseman. So, with a bit of nervousness, I was worried my horse and I have forgotten many things and fallen back on old habits, we did a couple drills and headed out. It went surprisingly smooth. I also wasn’t surprised when she bolted at a noise. But we recovered quickly. It wasn’t long and I caught myself laughing quietly. There were small improvements but I was catching them. I had a better horse after the ride than before.

And I realized that I don’t always catch the small steps my students make. And every single one of them is approaching the year having grown. I just need to step back sometimes and look and be aware.

A student came in to see if he was still welcome to the school. Immediately I switch into skeptic mode. A small voice reminds me to be open and keep a sense of hope. I try to balance the two emotions and invite him into an office.

When I go into a counseling session I have been proud of my growing awareness. I no longer just listen to what is said but I note body language. I look for minute clues such as twitches, eye movements, even skin tone changes. With this young man I picked up a lot of anxiety, especially when I challenged him on his commitment and tested any inconsistencies in his statements. He wasn’t serious. He wanted something else than school. While he said he would follow up with me and I didn’t expect to see him again.

When I come out of a meeting the first question the rest of the staff wants to know is how things went. They were very eager to hear how things went with this student who had been in and out of the system over the years, been successful, and burned several bridges. I gave them a brief summary of his intentions to meet with me in two weeks. Then the question came, “How did he react when you mentioned the marijuana smell?” I looked blankly back at my colleagues. “How could you miss it? We could smell it throughout the school!”

And I thought I was being so aware, that I had grown so much in my skills, I completely ignored such a primary sense. I’ve never had the best sniffer. Perhaps my nose is just fine and I’ve just never paid any attention to what it was telling me. I’ve been trying to do a better job lately. But this story is going to be a good one for my staff to share and keep me on my toes with. Another lesson I’m learning this year is that whenever I feel like I know what I’m doing I realize I know absolutely nothing at all.

We have lots of coyotes around. Every other night I can here them calling and yipping. According to some of the neighbors, there is a group of dens in the hills and pastures between us and the highway two miles away. The coyotes will come up to our fence line. Theyre surely checking out the horses and perhaps hoping to catch one of the cats away from the shed. In fresh snow I like to follow the tracks they leave as they chase mice.

Yesterday on my drive into work a line coyote, a fairly large one, stood at the edge of the road and watched me pass by. In my rearview mirror I caught him crossing the highway.

Was this an omen? What meaning did this experience have? What message was God or the Creator trying to give me?

Of course, that coyote may have been out hunting and just needed to cross the road – a coincidence that I happened to pass by. But, with the pending visit of an Elder and a new determination to focus in on the school atmosphere it seemed muchore than a random event.

Am I to keep an eye out – watch all directions as I take these new challenges? perhaps it is simply a good omen to see Coyote at this time? This last one speaks most clearly me. It does feel like a time where Im looking for reassurance in my work.

What ever the reason, thanks for the visit, Coyote.

The main idea that attracted me to Coyote Mentoring is that teaching and counseling works best at the edge. A person grows when they are approached in his comfort zone and then pushed. It is a subtle and powerful thing that I’ve observed and experienced many times.

Unfortunately, I so often resort to a bad habit Ive picked up somewhere and made my own. It could go back to a teacher I admired at my first job. He was a master. It is a skill that permeates education too deeply. I is seen in professional sports and politics.

I lecture. I goad. I try to discuss. But is it really necessary?

A statement can take a person and push him to the edge and push that barrier just a bit. Isn’t that statement enough? It should be equally powerful to push the edge, to nudge it and see what the new awareness shows.

During a presentation at a recent Outreach Conference I heard Cameron Buchanan speak.

WorkingFrustration

He placed a diagram on the screen that gave me a way to picture this section of the learning cycle. What seems to happen is that after the intial initiative has moved the person to want to do something, the person tries to find a solution. Many young people move into the Southeast and encounter frustration.

This frustration then goes one of two ways. The first one is Change. The person seeks a new challenge. They move away. They want to do something different. They are not focusing on the task no matter how important it was at one time.

The second direction is Agression. The young person gets angry. This aggression takes many forms and includes passive – aggressive behavior.

Parents, teachers, and/or mentors  naturally try to put up Barriers when they see the young person in frustration. The person is not allowed to change simply on a whim. The young person must learn how to temper his emotions to avoid aggression. This can be done through awareness training. Teaching the young person to be aware of all emotions that are present, and not just the anger is very helpful. Some young people do nto move South because there is a barrier he has put in to avoid vulnerability and painful emotions. Finding that this barrier is where the value of pushing edges and encouraging feeling.